If you're getting consistent stitches, you're doing it right. I can't hold my yarn like the videos either. I also hold different weights of yarn differently. If I knit continental, I like my tension just a bit looser. If I knit English, I wrap the yarn very tightly over/around/between my fingers so I can give it a little tug when I make a purl stitch (otherwise my purls look like I knit them on needles 2 sizes larger).
But beware, I'm pretty new at knitting, so I could be way wrong on everything I just said--but so far it's working OK for me. For me, it's all about the process. The finished product is just the icing on the cake. I like that knitting forces me to slow down and just be calm for a few hours each week.