You are totally NOT a bad mother. My first daughter pretty much trained herself...and I can't really remember how that happened, lol! She is now 11! My youngest took alot longer, which is typical for her. It was frustrating...I sat and thought about it, and I think she:
1) Just didn't understand fully what she needed to do.
2) didn't recognize her body signals telling her when she needed to go.
Soo.....and this is likely the bad mommy thing, I had her go pantless one day when sister was at school and it was just us two. She would start to go, and noticed something wasn't right..so I'd say "oh oh! Time to go sit on the potty!" and she would run to it. It took less than a day, and she was so proud.
Now if you choose to go this route, and you have carpet, you will likely have some extra maintenance to do, lol. But it was sooo worth it for me.