• Knitter gets bright idea (as above) and attaches power drill to handle of ball winder (secures ball winder with duct tape);
• Knitter anchors yarn swift tightly to table because of anticipated increased speed of winding (secures with duct tape);
• Knitter attaches hank of yarn to swift (secures with...ditto) and threads through winder (also securing with ... yep, you guessed it);
• Knitter starts up power drill. Swift starts spinning and ball starts winding evenly and steadily.
• Delighted knitter increases speed... increases speed again....and again;
• Top of yarn swift detaches from base and, due to centrifugal force, starts spinning madly around the room;
• Perplexed knitter watches in horror as yarn swift top spins across the room and attacks the family dog before breaking through a window;
• The yarn carried across the room by the spinning yarn swift tangles itself around the frantically gyrating and barking dog;
• Horrified knitter finally takes finger off power drill trigger;
• The room is enveloped momentarily in a somewhat ominous silence until the frantic barking of the now-cocooned dog starts piercing knitter's eardrums;
• Knitter leaps across room, grabs and holds dog's mouth closed (securing it with duct tape);
• Knitter proceeds to liquor cabinet and downs a couple of belts of the strongest liquor available;
• Knitter then proceeds to untangle the dog, remove the duct tape securing his mouth, sweep up glass fragments from broken window and laboriously use Goo Gone to remove duct tape adhesive from table, yarn swift, ball winder and dog.
• Knitter then answers doorbell to deal with neighbor whose windshield was broken by flying yarn swift.
• Knitter and neighbor explore liquor cabinet.
• Hammered Knitter commandeers tipsy neighbor to hold hank of yarn so that knitter can wind it into a ball ----- by hand.
Once I got started it was so hard to stop.....